The eight month mark

Haiti Fact #14: Tropical fruit is available at very low prices in Haiti.  Visitors should try a variety of fruit, especially mangoes and papayas.

This job lasts a year, which initially encouraged me to forecast what would change over the various intervals.  I started doing this almost immediately after arriving.  Where would I be after four months?  How about after nine?  When would I understand the sermon in church?  How about the songs on the radio?  All of these questions had and have answers that change over time as expectations turn into experiences.  Not surprisingly, the detailed plans ended up not working out how I imagined.  Reality swept us up into it and hasn’t let go yet.  It’s as though we’re floating down a river and can’t see anything beyond the upcoming bend.  But that mindset works pretty well here: specific expectations consistently lead to disappointment or frustration.  Additionally, a lot of good stems from that necessary mindset.  Opportunities open up once the urge to have expectations fades into the background.  I can read books and just let them affect me how they will.  I can study French because it’s fun, even though I don’t know if I’ll ever need it or use it.  I can build relationships with people and just enjoy getting to know them.  None of this was impossible before but I love it now that I’m actively doing it.  I still have plans and expectations, but living in the moment and reducing stress has become a higher priority. 

The first four months here came with big doses of stress that took huge quantities of Netflix to mitigate.  Life was a roller coaster between soaring highs after successes and crushing lows after embarrassing failures.  The second four months started out like a grainy, out-of-focus picture.  As minor details of daily life began to make sense, I appreciated mundane places and routines on a whole new level.  Less obvious small joys unique to this job and situation popped up everywhere.  Over the past few months I really got established and comfortable here in Cap-Haitien and as an English teacher.  But now that I’m at the threshold of the final third of this year, I have no idea what to expect.  I want to focus on three goals: caring about people, giving time and energy to what is important and having faith that God has my back.  To do those things requires a blend of beliefs and priorities that the past eight months have so gloriously forced upon me.  So I continue to ask for your prayers and your support as I strive to care, to give, and to trust. 

I am so thankful for this job and its many perks.  That being said, home is on my mind too.  The Creole word for to remember is sonje.  But mwen sonje peyi m does not mean I remember home.  Rather, it is better translated as I miss home.  Prior to Haiti I would have doubted that I’d ever say something like that.  But here I am saying it.  So while I look forward to four more months of dizzying and gut-wrenching (but awesome) experiences, the memories of home are not likely to fade.  I can say with perfect honesty that I am as excited for the next chapter of life in Haiti as I am for the return home.  It’s a win-win situation. 

A special thank you to these donors:

Mr. and Mrs. David Pittsinger

Karen Honan

Turbulence

Haiti Fact #13: From 1915 to 1934, the US occupied Haiti.  Concerns about German aggression during WWI and Haiti’s proximity to the Panama Canal led to the occupation.  The US also occupied the Dominican Republic and Cuba during the early 20^th century.

The past two months have been turbulent.  Four separate sets of visitors provided a chance to share our knowledge of Haiti and show off our Creole, but also left me exhausted.  My family got to see the pros and cons of life in Haiti, reminding me how cool this job is.  The abundance of fresh food, beautiful weather and friendly people genuinely led me to say to my parents that I’m spoiled here.  I realize that someone in the USA might vehemently disagree, citing the non-potable groundwater or the intermittent electricity.  But I stand by what I said.  It doesn’t take long to forget about the lack of some amenities considered essential in the USA.  Additionally, limited access to the Internet and smartphones quickly becomes a blessing.  Fewer distractions open up new chances to read and write, and to just think about everything that is changing.  The slower pace and the amount of space to think make any “concessions” in living standards worth it.  Thanks to the abundance of time and lack of distractions, I have read a lot of books recently.  

I started January with Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.  That book hits hard.  It tells the story of Paul Farmer, whose dedication and unapologetic commitment to the equality of all people changed healthcare standards for some of the poorest people in the world, especially in central Haiti.  Mountains Beyond Mountains is a fantastic read.  Then I read The Big Truck Went By by Jonathan M. Katz, a book investigating the shortcomings of aid efforts to Haiti following the earthquake.  Learning about the Haiti’s complexities makes it difficult to form a concrete position on the issues.  I feel less confident assessing what Haiti “needs” with every book I read about it.  After reading even just one chapter, I have needed to go do some domestic chore to better process what I read. Washing dishes or doing a load of laundry are time consuming and labor intensive enough to let my mind wander and hopefully process the most recent challenges to some long-held worldviews.  Reading about Haiti leaves me confused, but with a renewed passion to keep trying.  So life has been turbulent.

Around New Years my sister came down to visit.  It was great to have her, especially at the halfway point of my time here.  We went to the big tourist spots here: the Citadelle and the beach.  We did more than just tourist stuff though.  I showed her the market and we went to CASB, my school.  I figured that the poverty and abrasive nature of Haiti would challenge her, just as they would any first time visitor.  But I did not expect to be shocked by how much I have changed.  Seeing Julia, whom I know better than I know anyone, threw my life now into stark contrast with what it used to be.  It’s easy to forget that I used to take hot showers and drink tap water when I’m with Eli because we basically met each other here.  Without a reminder of developed world experience, memory of home fades surprisingly quickly.  But after a few conversations with Julia, everything came rushing back.  It hit me how different everything is.  For one, I am less relaxed now – not surprising.  It’s hard to say anything else definitely but I feel something.  That realization joins an ever-mounting list that exceeds the time to process it.  And once again, I’m thankful for menial household chores that provide space to try to make sense of everything.

By the time my parents came in late February, Eli and I had become pros at guiding tours of greater Cap-Haitien.  While sister's visit plunged me into confusion about how to reconcile life in the US with life in Haiti, my parents’ visit was seamless and fun.  We did the same activities as with we did with previous visitors, showing them both the beautiful and the ugly parts of reality here.  But my parents are back at home now and there aren’t any visitors coming for a while.  A window of opportunity is open once again.  I speak Creole fairly fluently and have enough free time to invest myself even further into the community here.  With the turbulence of the past two months subsiding, I can recommit to working hard at this job and seeking to connect more with my friends here.  Life is good.  As always, thanks for reading.

A special thank you to these donors:

Roy Black

Debra Brown

Travel Log 3

Haiti Fact #11: 

The president-elect of Haiti, Jovenel Moise, is slated to take office at the beginning of February.  He is part of Parti Haitien Tèt Kale, which translates as the Haitian Bald Head Party.

Port-au-Prince          

We spent last week in Port-au-Prince.  One doesn’t hear much of anything good about that city.  It is overcrowded, hot and choked by traffic jams, as well as not safe at night.  Plus, the trip was for work.  So I did not expect to have fun.  It started with an overnight bus ride down from Cap-Haitien.  Despite the driver’s swerving all over the empty roads to avoid potholes, I actually slept a little bit.  Leaving the bus, we got a taxi to the hotel.  I picked a driver who seemed nice and who gave us a great price.  But when we arrived, he ripped me off with a trick so simple that I had honestly forgotten about it because I’ve never actually encountered it.  After that, the moto we took to a grocery store ripped us off to a similar degree.  So after only an hour in Port-au-Prince we had already achieved clueless foreigner status.  That night we went out to visit with our coworker who was in town for the week too.  Just walking down to his hotel without a problem made everything feel more doable.  After one day in Port-au-Prince we could at least walk around during the day.  I took that as a badly needed victory.

It turned out that the synod (church governing body) would not start until later than expected, providing some time to explore.  Unfortunately, Port-au-Prince offers very little to do.  But there is a history museum, so we went to that.  The Museum of the Haitian National Pantheon (MUNAPAH in French) is small but worth seeing.  That afternoon the synod started with a church service in the national cathedral.  I even understood a decent amount of what the bishop said during his opening message.  The following day was the main meeting.  After hours of listening to Creole I found it increasingly difficult to try to understand.  But the church government meeting was more exciting than I expected; even matters such as church laws and election procedures sparked passionate debate.  A central purpose of our attendance, a meeting with the bishop, came at lunchtime.  The meeting went fantastically and wrapped up work for the day very nicely.  I went out with a few friends in Pétionville, which is to Port-au-Prince as Greenwich, CT is to NYC.  I had a great time.  Just the moto ride up to Pétionville was an experience.  When I say “up to Pétionville,” I mean up.  Port-au-Prince is located on a fairly small patch of flat land that quickly gives way to mountains as you go inland.  On the way up, as the moto wove through traffic, I caught a birds-eye view of the grey concrete sprawl rolling over the foothills and up the moutains.  I actually saw how massive Port-au-Prince is.  Later that night I took a moto back down and saw the city lit up at night with the wind on my face, grateful for the experience.  With the week’s work and meetings finished, we took one day to sightsee.  

Like I said earlier, Port-au-Prince doesn’t offer much for sightseeing.  We tried anyway though.  One particular point of interest was the Nèg Mawon statue, which we managed to see despite it being formally closed off.  Many of the previous tourist sights in Port-au-Prince collapsed in the earthquake.  The mostly collapsed former Catholic cathedral is still fairly striking, while the ruins of the former Episcopal cathedral have been razed while reconstruction talks take place.  The Presidential Palace, a former symbol of governmental power which collapsed in the earthquake, is another formerly iconic Port-au-Prince building that is gone now.  So, like many aspects of life in Haiti, our experience took place in the shadow of the 2010 earthquake.  We wrapped up the week by doing the most commonly recommended activity that Port-au-Prince offers: the band Ram at the Hotel Oloffson on Thursday nights.  The show went late as I hung out and appreciated the music and unique atmosphere of the hotel.  After a few strenuous days it made everything a little better.  After a week of not so much vacation but rather of experiences, Ram was the grand finale.  Only the journey home remained.

Herman Melville writes, “there is no quality in this world that is not what it merely is by contrast.  Nothing exists in itself.  If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more.” When I first read that in Moby Dick it resonated with me but seemed difficult to implement.  How does one intentionally put discomfort into life?  I learned about that on the way home.  For the seven hour bus ride over the same speed bumps and mountains while swerving to avoid a different set of potholes, we had the added pleasure of listening to a group of guys in the back of the bus argue at the top of their lungs for at least four hours straight.  It rotated between several topics: philosophical (“The problem isn’t Haiti, it’s Haitians”), sports, asking me if the USA would restart the draft, and accusing one of the verbal combatants of being bourgeoisie.  That conversation proved that after a long enough, consistent exposure, the brain can tune out anything.  The bus had more to offer though.  Not only was it smaller and bumpier but the air conditioning broke and the only windows that opened were at the very front.  But somehow, the windows kept ending up closed.  Around five hours into the trip, one of the verbal combatants went up to open the window himself.  But the guy sitting next to it slammed it shut again.  A general outcry of rage was met with his promise that he would stop shutting the window as soon as they shut their mouths.  The combatants defied this at first, for show I think, but conveniently quieted down within ten minutes.  The rest of the trip, remarkably, was uneventful.  Considering that the heat and yelling eventually became funny, I agree with Moby Dick on the importance of discomfort.  Fortunately for me, in Haiti one does not need to seek it out.  

A special thank you to these donors:

Rich Lammlin

Darlene James 

Cap-Haitien

Haiti Fact #10:

The national money is the gourde (pronounced goud).  The exchange rate is currently around 67 gourdes to 1 US dollar.

            A year ago I had never heard of Cap-Haitien.  Today it constitutes such a huge part of my daily life that it is hard to ever forget about it.  It’s a unique city, even within Haiti.  The “iron market” covers a full four blocks under one roof, creating an open space not accessible to vehicles.  The market sprawls for blocks in all directions, dominating the streets that vendors have claimed.  Going to the market has become one of my favorite parts of Cap-Haitien, or Okap as people usually call it.  While never a relaxing experience, going to the market is still fun.  The fact that produce is available so cheaply never fails to make me smile.  However, the market’s complex layout overwhelmed me at first.  But with a better understanding of how it’s set up, shopping trips are easier and faster. 

It still surprises me that I like shopping there.  Very few expatriates descend into the chaos of the market, making it so that I stand out a lot.  Combined with the fact that expatriates are (correctly) perceived as wealthier than average Haitians, my lack of anonymity makes me the target of endless sales pitches.  It used to really overwhelm me when someone would yell at me in a language I only somewhat understood.  Fortunately, improving in Creole and persistently trying again has made it so that I usually understand the sales pitches and have no problem issuing a quick “No thank you” and moving on.  As soon as the more aggressive, intimidating elements are filtered out, the market becomes a cool place. 

Food that I have never seen, let alone tried, is available for an insanely low price.  Most recently, I started buying eggplant and squash called meliton in Creole and making a sauce for rice out of it.  The best part is that I haven’t gotten around to trying everything that’s available so there’s so much experimenting left to do.  I like the market so much because it is probably the most tangible reminder that, despite a mountain of setbacks, I can function normally here and do things that outsiders almost never do.  Cap-Haitien’s market is rough on the edges but is worth experiencing if you have the time to learn how it works.  For shorter visits, the restaurant scene is a must-see.

The iconic restaurant in Okap is Lakay.  Translating as “house” or “home,” Lakay is where we see expatriates on a regular basis and hear a surprising mix of languages.  The good food and laid back atmosphere make it my favorite restaurant in Cap-Haitien.  There’s a lot more to try, though.  The “boulevard” or “carenage” runs along the ocean and has several restaurants drawing in the expatatriate community, groups of visitors and middle class Haitians.  The restuarants compete amongst each other to bring in music acts and entertainment, all for prices far below what you would pay in the USA.  In the sit down restaurants you can find a little bit of American food with plenty of Haitian food.  I’ve just started expanding into more options outside of the restaurants that draw in expatriates, simply because there is a lot to try just within that group. 

I’ll have to write more about life in Cap-Haitien in a later post.  Moving here changed how I live.  Cap-Haitien is hot, dusty, old and rarely smells good, but, similar to its market, has a surprising amount of redeeming qualities as you get to know it better.  There will be more posts about Okap coming up.  It’s a unique place.

A special thank you to these donors:

Emelia DeMusis

Rev. Folts and Family   

Paradise and the flood

Haiti Fact #9:

Haitian roads have a lot of speed bumps, which are called dos d’ânes (backs of donkeys) or polis kouche (sleeping policemen).

            This past Saturday, we went to the beach in a place called Paradise Cove.  It deserves that name.  Despite its incredible beauty, we found it almost empty simply due to its remoteness.  After an intense drive up and down a mountain we took a twenty minute boat ride around to the far side of a neighboring cove.  We spent the day sitting in the sand under a tree or swimming in the ocean.  Out in the clear water, I could float around and look back to see the wild mountains surrounding the cove.  The huge jellyfish floating in the shallows completed the rugged and indifferent beauty of the place.  The tranquility was kind of exhausting.  At one point a boat arrived, full of volunteers from the USA with a few Haitians.  We actually spent more time talking with the Haitians – confidence when talking to new people is much more a Haitian thing.  The boat ride and then drive back home went by in a state of reflection as I realized how close we live to that amazing little cove.  We arrived back at the house Saturday night relaxed and exhausted.  After waking up from a deep nap, I noticed it was raining pretty hard.

           

It rained for four days straight, beginning with ten hours of very heavy rain. For the following days it poured, drizzled, rained, took short breaks and even thundered a little bit.  Much of the city flooded, causing houses to collapse and streets to become impassable.  At least ten people died, but life in the city still managed to go on.  We are blessed to live in a more built up section of the city with better drainage, so we only lost power.  The water flowed past us down to the ocean and the flooded sections of the city.  In that moment I saw so clearly how resilient Haitians are in the face of problems that would devastate people in the USA.  The turbulence of life here encourages one not to get too attached to any routine or plan.  Storms and disruptions are inevitable.  I can’t say for sure whether this unexpected deluge is caused by the same forces that are intensifying extreme weather events around the world.  I can, however, note a few factors that made this unusual weather much more deadly to the people that it hit.

In the USA, things like zoning rules, ordinances and property taxes are not generally viewed with gratitude.  But Haiti could use a lot more of all of them.  The earthquake in 2010, Hurricane Matthew, this flood and countless other natural disasters had their destructive power magnified by the vulnerability of Haiti’s infrastructure to the slightest calamity.  When I, as an outsider from the developed world, see whole neighborhoods lying in flood zones or on steep hillsides, I picture the carnage that a hurricane or earthquake could inflict.  What to do about that is difficult though.  Haiti’s past and present are full of foreigners who know exactly what Haiti needs.  They tried and continue to try to implement their plan, often experiencing difficulty with achieving any results.  All the while, Haitians continue to die from diseases long banished from the developed world and in large numbers as a result of weather events.  The situation here is very complicated, especially between outsiders and Haitians. 

No easy or quick solution exists.  My time here needs to be about listening and absorbing information because despite the fact that Haiti has problems and that the developed world has found ways to overcome those problems, any inquiry into history should make it clear that just copying and pasting the solutions doesn’t work.  Major problems persist and frustrate good intentions.  Meanwhile, the world does not seem to be transitioning toward ideological unity on its own.  Despite all that, I continue to naïvely hope that listening and caring can do something to help with this particular issue that I am confronted with.  And it remains a blessing to do that work among Haiti’s hidden treasures and painful realities.      

A special thank you to these donors:

Ken Ewell

Mr. & Mrs. Jeff Going             

New goals

Haiti Fact #8:

Most meals at Haitian restaurants come with a side of chopped cabbage and carrots mixed with hot sauce.  This dish is called pikliz (pronounced peek-lees) and should not be mistaken for cole slaw.

Haiti has thrown problems at us basically since the moment we arrived.  Facing issues requiring immediate attention kept us on our toes and made it difficult to actually relax.  While desperately trying to temporarily turn off the worries by watching a Netflix movie kind of succeeded, the issues were always waiting when the movie ended.  But that mindset is just a memory now.  I speak Creole well enough to not think about it in everyday situations.  Driving still deserves my full attention and respect, but the days of dreading it ended a while ago.  The everyday routine is starting to become a non-event, freeing us up to pursue other objectives.  Right after arriving I saw a huge mountain looming over Cap-Haitien and decided that I needed to hike it.  This past Saturday, we finally did.  All of a sudden, life is no longer a constant struggle to keep my head above water.  It feels like an opportunity to draft up some new objectives for the next eight months.      

           

A new situation calls for new goals.  Teaching is still my main job, so I want to continue to work on lesson planning and classroom management.  That’s not all though.  Due to its abundance and low prices, we end up eating tons of fresh food.  While that is absolutely a blessing, it does eventually lead to one missing freezer food and preservatives.  So rather than resent the extra time spent in the kitchen, I want to invest some time in learning how to cook healthy food well.  In terms of free time, Haiti has an abundance of mountains that continually beckon, especially after finally doing a big hike.  Even cooler are the emerging friendships with Haitians.  Of all the things that depend on actually being in Haiti, developing those friendships what I want to do the most.  That mentality of focusing on what we can only do in Haiti is the positive spin on complaining about what isn’t possible here.  For now I use that test to decide whether or not I should make something a priority.  Finally, it continues to get clearer that this opportunity is more than just a chance to experience new things.  I am here to work on spiritual things too.  That is the most nebulous area of my goal list; for now the best I can say is that I won’t neglect the calling and will keep on trying.  So those are my updated priorities.  But as always, one should expect surprises and changes to wreak havoc on all plans.  After four months of this, I certainly expect some interruptions.

A special thank you to these donors:

Lynn Giroux

Ronald Smith

Nou la

Haiti Fact #7:

The elections have been postponed due to the extensive damage and loss of life caused by Hurricane Matthew in southwestern Haiti.

Life here is a challenge.  It puts up obstacles that won’t go away without a confrontation.  Challenges at work and in daily life regularly puncture the process of establishing stability and routines.  The only antidote to such frustrating adversity is perseverance.  Over these past three months it was perseverance that made the difference and got us to this moment.

Even after one month in Haiti, the constant presence of chaos and setbacks loomed over every minute of every day.  Days went by in a blur of confusion while our problems showed no signs of reaching resolution.  But the choice was always simple: try again, or don’t.  Was it frustrating that the truck was broken and that we lacked the language skills to move the repair along?  Absolutely.  But we tried again, if only to avoid letting the first problem win.  Fluctuating between embarrassment, exhaustion, heat and frustration, I never really relaxed during the first few weeks.  Perseverance and faith, not validation based on success, finally pulled me out of that stew of stress.  There really wasn’t any success for a while.  The ideology that formed over the past three months developed around believing that this job matters enough to keep trying regardless of success rate.  Of course that is not to say there haven’t been lags in commitment or motivation.  Rather, the job continues to demand our attention and effort.  We are continually offered the chance to accept that calling. 

One way to say what’s up in Creole is sak pasè.  A common response is nou la, or we’re here.  That attitude of simply acknowledging that we are here changes one’s perspective.  Rather than focus on potentials or expectations, nou la brings me back to remembering that it’s pretty cool to be here and that this job is a blessing that just wears a heavy disguise sometimes.  Nou la helps me appreciate that although limited progress has been made on the to do list, that doesn’t mean that nothing happened or that what did happen doesn’t have value.  Nou la acknowledges that life throws a lot at you and that even preventing lost ground is better than not trying.  Through the realization and gradual adoption of these ideas, I am learning to appreciate a different ideology.

In the USA, potential matters and expectations are set in order to be met.  This process facilitates advancement and development, contributing the high standard of living found in the USA.  In Haiti it is difficult to focus on potential because reality constantly gets in the way.  The hard-wired and well-trodden routines of the institutions and businesses that make the USA so effective simply don’t exist to that degree in Haiti.  The ideas I learned in school about maximizing productivity need modification for Haiti.  So after three months I continue to see the importance of perseverance while aspiring to continually commit to this job and to appreciate that nou la is not failure.  We made a lot of progress already and I feel better prepared to keep working and trying to improve.

A special thank you to these donors:                

Greg Shook

Mr. & Mrs. Philip Coles